Tommy Lee is a famous drummer with Motley Crew. Some would say he is more famous for his (extremely) intimate home video taken with his then-wife, Pamela Anderson. Not only has Tommy Lee husbanded the woman considered to be sexiest in the world, but he also married actress Heather Locklear, before she divorced him after he slept with porn star Debbie Diamond when invited to a film set she was shooting on.
Not just dishing the dirt on Tommy for the sake of it. It interests me what makes a guy like that so successful with women, and I’m guessing you too. I heard Tommy Lee described as ‘like a big happy baby’ when out socialising; he’s the guy at the party who is out there being happy, having fun, a source of positive energy that that people are attracted to.
The power of positive thinking is behind all Pick Up Artists, every one. This even counts for those with negative lifestyles such as the self-destructive rock star types. Even they must believe in themselves to get the girl. And secondly, an attractive male must offer positive value to the girl. The power of the jerk is that the girl can feel that, somewhere deep down, the ‘bad-boy’ has some positive intentions for her, and when those moments are rationed to her, she gets addicted to them.
Of course, Tommy Lee has other things going on, like being in a rock band, and being a celebrity. But these results arn’t average, not even by rock star standards.
Consider that more positivity will do incredible things for your game. What is a good way to be more positive, and remove negative self-talk?
Using ‘Maybe’ To Get Positive
‘Maybe.’ ‘Maybe’ as in “‘Maybe’ I can get that girl” or “‘Maybe’ if I approach that girl, she’ll love me.” When you catch yourself with negative self-talk that is stopping you take action, you can counter it with the positive side: “Sure she has a guy with her, but ‘maybe’ that guy is just a friend of hers, I can at least walk over and find that out… and ‘maybe’ they will be really friendly when I walk over there.”
Once your brain starts considering that these possibilities exist, it will soon start accepting them, and soon after, the mind will start jumping to positive assumptions rather than negative ones. Can you see how this might benefit you?
‘Maybe’ is a powerful tool. It works because it activates the imagination. It bypasses your conscious reasoning brain, and allows your subconscious to imagine the positive side without the reasoning brain pushing in and criticising things before they have chance to grow.
And if you can see it, you can believe it.
Keys to ‘Maybe’
- If possible, say the action in the present tense: “maybe I can,” “maybe I do,” “maybe I am”
- If possible, say the words. Let your brain hear the words spoken out aloud.
- If you can see the image of you succeeding in your mind, this adds to the power. If you can’t, ‘maybe’ it will come as you practice
Variations of ‘Maybe’
- ‘What if’ - works well because it asks a question, which your brain works on finding an answer to (even if it has no basis in reality).
- ‘At least’ (as in “sure that girl was mean to me, and I don’t agree with the way she did it, but at least she was coming from a positive place i.e. trying to protect her ego”)
Try these ‘maybe’ questions out now to see how they make you feel:
- What if I am a sexy guy?
- What if I can do it?
- What if it everything is flowing perfectly?
More Ways to Be Positive
Tyler, co-founder and instructor of Real Social Dynamics wrote a cool guide to doing a 10 day mental negativity fast, along with all the tools, here is an excerpt from his post at his sites forum:
Why not take on the challenge of not thinking badly of anyone, or saying anything bad of anyone for a week. Talk only about positive topics and say good things about people. Do this for 10 days, and write notes every night about how well you did before bed.
Here’s the challenge:
- Talk only about positive, upbeat topics.
- Talk about only the positive in people.
- Seek only the positive in people.
- Focus only on positive thoughts (cut off any negative thought within a pre-set time limit)
- Strive to find the positive in everything you read, and to ignore the negative.
This doesn’t mean “make yourself gullible and stupid.” It just means to take a week to focus on something specific.
Your tools are:
- Reframing (viewing things from a different angle, use ‘Maybe’ to do this -Drew)
- Focusing on obscure positive aspects of the person or situation or article or whatever
- Changing your physiology (i.e.: perking yourself up, force-smiling, etc)
- Thinking of something that you’re grateful for
- Thinking of something constructive
In your notes you include stuff like:
- What bothered you
- What negative things you kept focusing on (even if they were realistic)
- How you reframed it
- What you focused on or did to distract yourself from it
- How long it took you to get back on a positive track
Basically, you’re trying to keep yourself in a positive state for 10 days, to ADDICT yourself to it.
In fact, many of the most seductive guys I know have a talent in finding great things in girls, and this gives the girls the feeling like they’re a better person when they’re together (very addictive).. The girls are always like “I feel so good around him” when they meet these guys.”
I challenge you apply ‘maybe’ in your day to day life, and to complete a negativity fast for 24 hours (it may be more challenging than you think), and then if it has benefited your success with girls, or you just feel more alive, try another. Then if you see the benefits, commit to the whole 10 days.
Drew
