Body language is important, it doesn’t matter how many lines you have, or even how big a wit you are, if you aren’t demonstrating confidence in your body language and tonality, the girl will blow you off in the first few seconds.
This video shows the difference good body language makes. The key points I spotted were:
Notice how Clark Kent is hunched over, while Superman’s chest comes out as if he is taking a deep breath. He keeps his head up. Not too high to appear proud, but level. Imagine a piece of gold string attached to the top of your head, if you pull the string, it brings your head how it should be.
Confidence in eyes, and smiling. A smile is important. A PUA I once met says he walks through the club with a smile as if he had just been on the holiday of his dreams, and it made all the girls stare at him, and its something that you can do with the power of your imagination, even if you’re not creating these kind of experiences in your life right now.
Deeper, slower voice. I’ve heard a very successful Pick Up Artist say that voice tonality and projection is the single most important attractor with women. I would add that accent plays an important part too. It’s all about being bold; you can be loud and bold, but you don’t need to be loud to be bold. Try recording your voice while talking on the phone, and see how much you like it.
Take a step back from yourself and feel what your body language, voice and expressions are saying about you today.
A big question doubting friends might ask if you tell them about this stuff is ‘What type of girls does this attract?’
A lot of zealous PUAs look down upon this question (or any question that doubts their PUA religion I find), I was one of them, but I’m starting to open my eyes a little and find it to be a valid question.
The bottom line is that there are traits that are universally attractive about men, and these traits will be attractive to the majority of women, no matter how ‘nice’ or refined they are.
Another side to this is, whatever kind of person you are will likely attract the same types of people into your life; ‘birds of a feather flock together’ as the saying goes.
A Veneer of Self Improvement
In that case, if a PUA looks upon seduction mastery as covering up the shitty person he is, with lines, tricks and techniques, then this is not going to attract a type of girl who is cool, balanced, and a nice person to be around.
You cannot fool all of the people all of the time, and if you think you can put on the act of a cool, balanced guy just when girls are present, you are in for a lot of hard work; the cracks will show.
A lot of the guru’s in this community taught these ‘dismantling the bomb’ type methods, and because they made a living where they go out daily to apply these complex methods, they make it successful. The problem is these external methods are very high maintenance.
This was actually my approach for a long time, and I found I would require around 50-100 regular nights out before I could even begin to get a girl to go home with me (we’re talking weeks of going out daily), it took that much practice for me to ‘get my act right’, and even then the girls who wanted to spend time with me were not my ideal, because they had the same negative traits I had within myself. And as soon as I stopped going out for even a few weeks, I would find myself back to square one, the same guy I always was, needing to go out another 50-100 times before I could ‘get laid’.
Genuine Self Improvement.
If this same PUA was to dig deeper within himself, and focus on genuine self-improvement, building the confidence to truly accept and express himself, and get his value from within so much that he is not desperate for external validation, then this person can stroll through life effortlessly, attracting the women of his dreams.
This takes work, and seems harder, but it seems preferable to me after trying the former approach, because I know that genuine self improvement will last me a lifetime.
‘Just Offer Value and Don’t Give a ****’
Well, my Pick Up Artist path is similar to Bill Murray in Groundhog Day (which also brilliantly sums up this teaching). I began to find that going out with the sole objective of ‘offer value and don’t give a fuck’ had massive results, two girls approach me, one was an extremely hot girl who asked me to dance, something that had never happened to me in 4 years of going out to ‘get laid’ using various methods.
I found that the structures, routines, techniques and games I played were all a cumbersome placebo, I thought these lines were doing the work for me, when really they were allowing me to feel confident about myself, and this is what created the attraction all along.
I hope you come to my conclusion quicker than I did (4 years!), or at least have faith in my experience which I offer here.
The formula:
Unbalanced, value seeking guy Attracts –> Unbalanced, value seeking girl
Balanced, value offering guy Attracts –> Balanced, value offering girl
Welcome to the first in the series of Alpha Male Behaviour clips!
When I decided to start these, I didn’t want to encourage those guys who micro-manages their behaviour so much that they think ‘blinking when I ask a question will create 78% more attraction!’ Because, to be honest, I have been there in my quest for seduction mastery, and I got locked into my head so much I was missing the big picture.
Saying that, its good to see some examples of alpha male behaviour as a general guide to leading our personalities in the way we want to take them, and this series will give it in bundles. The first example we look at is Indiana Jones.
Some things I noted:
When to Talk and When to Act.
This video exemplifies that there is a time to talk and a time to act, Indiana Jones enters into a teasing game with the woman, but when it comes to action, does Indy burst back into the room and gossip about the sneaky guy hiding in his bedroom… In the slightest bit? No. Behaviour like this (although from a movie) shows that he has the power to control his emotion when it comes down to taking action. But isn’t so earnest that he cannot enter into a teasing game with blondie.
Offer Value
It may only be a slight reference, but Indy comes bringing value (the fruit), and he doesn’t expect anything in return for it (which means, he isn’t using is as some sneaky gambit to get her attention, or at least if he is, he isn’t attatched to the outcome).
Can Walk Away.
Indy demonstrates the power of being able to walk away. A lot of women have a spidey sense that triggers off when a guy is needy, they are good at sniffing it out, and if they do they walk away. With this in mind its essential to maintain this attitude, this means getting so much value from within yourself, that women is only the icing on the cake of your life.